don't know why suddenly feel like blog. maybe blogging is only the one i can tell about what i feel. am i still a friend of yours? best friend? no, i no longer have the thought of i am your best friend. i started to feel that the way you reply my message is not like the way you used to reply. maybe i am being over sensitive? i hope i am being sensitive. can someone tell me that people around me are still the same? because i think everyone is changing so fast. i need someone who i can always lean on. but i don't. all i can is tell my friends. but i don't think they can help me. sometimes can though. i don't know who is real and who is fake anymore. i don't know who to trust anymore. everyone around me seems like they are wearing mask. am i really that lousy? am i really a failure? am i really that bad until no one wants to be honest and real around me? maybe i am the one who is always being fake. all the thing goes back to me. ME. MICHELLE PEK EE WEI. i really don't know what to do anymore. i need someone who is real for me to lean on. i have to act like nothing happened and always smile in front of you all. i have to always be the silly one just to make you all smile and laugh. maybe i am just some toy for you all. never been your best friend, and never will be right? i am just someone that is normal. everything i hope wont come true will they? no i don't think so. maybe i should not have exist in this world. yes, i admit i am jealous..