Friday went youth park for cross country. ran almost half of the way. tired. leg paining. yesterday school was kinda fun. went gurney around 6. mom got a wedding dinner. only she gets to attend. brought ahyih to gurney with danny and I. watched THE SPY NEXT DOOR ;D got LUCAS TILL, LOL. i think he's cute. hah. ohh my kor. you're going russia on september. im so gonna miss ya! =]

dear, sis. you seems to miss me a lot yeah. hah. well you should, cause i miss you too! well i think im starting to enjoy in CGL la. i think laa. dont know yet. hah. well, you still got Lyn there right. you can ask daryl for homework. im sure he knows what to bring, since he is the monitor. if he doesnt, then just blame him! he's going to kill me for that.

been to new school for 3 days already. not really get used to it yet. never will i think. sigh. there's no one to talk to in class. i do have friends in class, but seldom talk. unlike me right ? i used to talk a lot and fooling around in heng ee right? i know that too. everyone's got their own gang. and my classmates are weird. attitude and behavior. marissa is friendly. everyone is also very friendly. but i just got no topic to talk to them. idk why. whatever they talk or discuss, i understand what they said. but idk who is who, which one is which one. so it's just like i dont know a single thing. daryl said i'll fit in well. but now i dont think i can. i have no confident about it. sigh. is this a correct choice of mine ? or wrong ? i dont know. told mom what happened. she just keep telling me this is your choice. you dont like it, you still have to study there. mom, you are the one who wanted me to go CGL since form2. if it wasnt you said it, i never think of going. i like heng ee, i miss heng ee. i can communicate well there. but i cant over here. i can communicate with Lyn ad ah Huah in english. but i cant communicate with them in english. i feel like crying everytime i talk about school. how i missed heng ee. i was going to cry when on the way to huah's house and inside her house. if just now was in her room, i think i had cried. i just cant get used to it how they study. i've been in a strict school for 2 years. and noww. a school that is so free that make me think there's no discipline. maybe in the future i'll become so too. i hope i'll cause i'll then i think i'll be much more happier than now. but idw to just play around. i must good results. i have commitments. it's not like my mom doesnt give a shit about my results. she doesnt care what happen to me, she just want my results to be good. i think. i used to can mix around with everyone, but now i just cant. idk why. how i wish i never leave heng ee. maybe it's better to get out there. but for now, i just wanna go back. maybe in the future, i'll be happy with my own decision.

thats all for today. will blog as soon as possible.

r.i.p

woke up at 8 today. slept around 8.30 after reading the Star paper about the tragedy. the 4 missing students had been discovered. died. sighh. rest in piece guys.

although idk who you guys are, but this new is shocking.. happened too sudden.. sigh. fuck. friend texted and say teacher wonders if i ponteng school or wert. not my fault okay. mom sendiri say can dw to go. then now some more blame me. idk what to write.. just, r.i.p guys.

huge news

this is so freaking shocking! dragonboat! daaaaamn. two died, 4 missing! gossshh. received this shocking news evening. thought is a joke. who knows it is real! OMG. really hope the 4 of 'em will be save. miracles would happen right? optimistic. i cant. sigh. just imagine how cold is the sea water! this is so so so sad. really really hope they'll be fine. sighh. hope there's something we can do, but there's nothing we can =(

IMMA GOING TO FAINT! HE IS GOING TO RUSSIA! AND I THOUGHT HE ALREADY DID. BUT HE IS STILL IN PENANG! DID NOT TEXT ME OR ANYTHING! AM I THAT NOT IMPORTANT FOR HIM! IDK WHAT TO SAY!

yesterday something happened. but i wont say it again. i was over reacted. idk why im just so sensitive to his name. not just his name. even his whole person. sighh.

now im feeling so much better than yesterday. yesterday was so boring. went grandparents' house for like 3 hours! damn. phone last minute batt left 5%. swt. all thanks to danny pek la! titi use my phone. sendiri mia charge at home. ishkk. talked to cousin. she knows ah huah, but ah huah doesn't knows her. weird. ah huah you so famous la. she also knows chao daryl, but chao daryl pun tak kenal dia. swt. sms halfway cannot sms dah. have to save battery. sighh. later ada tuition again. form3's life so busy. always tuition, sigh. wednesday im going cgl. thats a good news for me ;DD to people who hate me, you wont be seeing me already. you all must be very glad about it. but idc. i wonder how will my life be in CGL ? i think it'd be much better than in heng ee. probably. oh godd. i wanna go heng ee sportday! who can fetch me go ? AHHHH!

this post is for my best friend, Daryl Lee. the guy im sensitive to is my ex boyfriend. i don't know why whenever i heard his name, it just affect me so much. i seriously don't know. sorry.

darn it. today is the last day going school. should be very happy. was happy till now. now im just so mad that i cant even text properly. damn. you never know what im thinking and u always thought you know. but i don't care. i don't give a shit about it! damn you. you are the one who text-ed me. i didn't ask you to do so. i have rights to ignore, but i still replied. dont tell me what to cause you are not even a friend of mine already! whenever i dont teply, your friend just keep on say me about it. for god's sake, go find someone else is the same as you and text. idk why i hate him. i just dunno the reason! and you are not me! you wont know what im thinking. so you just shut your fucking mouth up. this is none of your business.

sis. i need to talk to you a.s.a.p

i hate being in heng ee. i hate the teachers who are teaching my class! i hate it! ishhk. thought can leave on the day after tomorrow, but wrong! the actual date is 18 january! ray's sweet 15. you are old xD one more week in heng ee is so torturing! first week already so fucking worse! what about second week? should be more worst! damn! dont even have the mood of doing homework and listen to the teachers! no! none! i cant concentrate! urghh. im no longer like the form2 me. i used to do homework and know what to do, but not this year! not in 2010! gosh. i hate fifteen! i hate you peter ! damn! btw, happy birthday dear! <3>

first of all, happy new year people! it's 2010! whoo* two years later, we'll be dead! so enjoy ! hmm. actually idk what to blog.

hah.

i dont want to go tuitionnnnn! alone.

no friends.

the new girl there.

sighh.

hate being new at everything.

arghh!

god!

how i wish you can go.

but you are not going.

never mind.

i'll go myself.

be brave!

i CANTTT! TT

ishk. i'm useless! going tuition nee! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! imma going crazy!