I lost to my inner demons.

I think I've lost it this time. I feel like I lost myself in the way of finding myself. If you understand what
I mean. You know, there were times when I thought that if I'm close to many guys and take pictures with guys and that will makes me cooler? Yeah, I was that dumb. I did that. I took pictures with my male friends, I posted it on social websites, thought it would make me seems cool, but I wasn't really happy about it. I mean, occasionally, I feel myself being so cheap. I've always wanted a male friend that I could be crazy with, hold hands, hugs and all but not my boyfriend. I've always wanted a friend like this. And I wanted to be someone like this too. I wanted to be a girl who is really open-minded. Don't mind if someone holds her hand or hug her, but the thing is that, I do mind. I do feel awkward. I just pretend like I don't. And now when I think back, I don't understand why did I do that for. I feel cheap instead of cool. Thats how I feel, I'm not saying that it's cheap. I still think it's pretty cool for people to do that. And if I could, I would be like that too. And that's also the part that I hate. That's not me. I know I'm not like this, but I want to be. Now, I feel like I don't know myself anymore. Sometimes, I just wish that I could just lock myself in the house.

Can I go back? Seriously. Somebody tell me that I can.

And I'm lovin' this song. Imagine Dragons - It's Time 

College Life Part 1.

Hello peeps! Hah! Yes, I've enrolled into INTI International College Penang. I'm taking CAL. And no, COLLEGE SUCKS. Seriously, the first day I went with excitement, came home with sienness. I'm just not ready for college. Sigh. And I'm withdrawing soon, *laughs* Ridiculous, I know. I am going DISTED CAL instead. Cuz there's Psychology. I know it's quite a risk taking Psychology cuz' I'm not quite sure if I could cope up. And I dont like the idea of going DISTED still. :/ But life is about taking chances and making mistakes right? 

Well, I don't know what'd I expected from college, really. I just thought it ought to be more fun? And I'm already sick of college after the first day, can you believe it? And, I miss working. Seriously, working is better than attending classes that make me feel extremely sleepy. And there's no LALABOY. :( Aww, how I miss lalaboy! I met a couple of new friends, Xian Hui, Jaamine, Vally. Well that's it. No more. Pathetic eh? Couldn't really make any new friends since I don't know how to approach people first. Well, it's okay. I will just stick to Tumblr/Twitter. 

Everyone's leaving. Really. Sarah, Guatwei, Yuwei, and Coreen baby next! Sigh. Everyone's going after their dreams. What about me? Still here, no dreams at all. Hah. Sigh. It's like back to square one, I will be alone again. Guess that's just life eh? Oh well.

My addiction of anime is getting worst. By anime, I meant Fairy Tail.

Love always,

Mich.