Too Much.

So.. Today I finally went to watch Breaking Dawn, I was so excited the whole day. Well, then there is just gotta be things that ruin my mood, but whatever. I managed to get there in time with Yih. And IT WAS AWESOMEEE. This is the best series of Twilight Saga ever. I think it was better than the novel cuz there was this one part that I don't remember I read from the novel. Maybe it's because of the point of view was from Bella. And heck, Bella looks gorgeous being a vampire, almost perfect! ;) And Jasper toooo. I used to think that he looked weird, but somehow he looks attractive to me now. And Emmett too. And Alice! My favorite female vampire, always so pretty and cool! This time, Rosalie looked pretty to me too. And kind. Honestly, I just love all of them! The Cullens. This time, there is a whole lot more of vampires. Super awesome, they are all so cool and most importantly, some of them have some superb "gifts". I like Zafrina, she reminds me of Tyra Bank. Gorgeous! I don't think I can list all of them out cuz it will be extremely longgg!

I don't think anyone actually has an idea how much Twilight Saga means to me. 

And todayyyy, I managed to watch my Fairy Tail until ep150! Finally finished the story about Infinity Clock. And as usual, Fairy Tail never fails to make me cry and envy those characters. Sigh, I really feel sad for Cobra & Kinana. :( And all the others Oricon Seis, especially Imitatia. And Lucy too. :[ I still feel sad thinking about it. I've started to watch Kuroko No Basket! Hehe. It seems quite nice, and I really hate people for underestimating Kuroko! Eeeeeeeesh!

And sigh. I realized that I'm actually not important to people. I mean its like, I do have friends. In fact, I could say I have a lot of friends. It's just when it comes to more important things, not necessarily people that I take as good friends remember me. People that I thought they dont care but they actually do. And the funny part is that, people that I thought they care actually don't. How funny is that. I know I shouldn't be upset about this cuz I have people who care about me. Who remembers me. It's just, all humans are greedy right? And maybe, I expect too much. Cuz..

I was dumb enough to believe in things that I know better than anyone that I shouldn't. But I still did. I know it will hurt me somehow, but I still do it anyway. Because I was, am still dumb. Dumb enough to believe. It's just too much for a day. From extremely happy to extremely sad. That's why, never expect. So there will be no disappointment. 

Not good enough.

Even after almost 2 years had passed, I still want to know why did you decided to leave me. Was I not good enough? Was I not pretty enough? Not understanding enough? I'm sorry that I wasnt perfect. I'm sorry that I wasnt like her. I'm sorry that my definition of cute is different. I'm sorry that I dont like wearing dresses or heels. I'm sorry that I am weird.
You left ne hanging there just like that and came talking to me when you needed my helps. Honestly I dont mind, and I'm really glad that you talked to me. But.. Am I that worthless? I dont even worth your time to be friends with?
I guess that 1 year didnt meant anything to you but it meant so much to me. Maybe it was just me dumb enough to believe it. To stoodby your side when everyone said it was your fault. I'm sorry I fell so deep. I'm sorry that I was a burden to you.

Week 2: day 3.

Last paper I sat for this week was Physics. It was just a few hours back. :) 2 more subjects, 6 more papers then GOODBYE SPM! :D
Previous week = holidays = no study = spm die. I did studied around 2 hours per day but it was only for Add Maths. I know I know, I am pathetic but what to do? Honestly, I kinda regret that I did not used the time wisely. *bittersmile*

Physics p3 was fine, but p2 and p1 were HELL NO FINE. Sigh. I'm just stupid okay? I am not that smart == Screwed up Add Maths and I still cant believe it. Like really, -.-
Q: Mr Ahmad's son gives him rm500
What I see: Mr Ahmad gives his son rm500
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!?

Anyways, now I'm down to 2 subjects and my future depends on it so yeah. Thats all for now. :) SPM is no joke alright.

P/s: went out earlier during Physics p2 cuz' I didnt know what to do. :) And yeppp, I drafted this wall post when I was sitting for my Physics p3. :P

Love,
Michelle.

week 1: Believe In Yourself

So today is the last of the first week of SPM. Had Maths today, which is my favorite subject among all the others besides English. I screwed up 3 questions just because I didnt have enough confidence in myself! I tend to get really paranoid when it comes to exam. I always doubt my instincts or answers even though they are correct. Then, when I decided to change the answer it turned out to be wrong! Seriously, if only I had believed in myself. Maths overall was fine, much more better than the other subjects.

First day: BM. Second day: English. Third day: History. Fourth day: Maths. 
BM was hard like usual for someone like me that poor in BM. Like really. Although I started reading Komsas one week earlier and I had finished the whole thing, I think I did worse than some students that just studied for a few days. Sigh. I'm just not that smart okay. I practically spent half an hour during my BM exam to draft out what I wanted to write here. Teehee. I was bored, alright? The first day literally killed me cuz' I didn't have enough sleep the night before and BM was from 8-4.30pm! There was obviously breaks in between but I can't drive so I couldn't go home. Sejarah was damn. :/ Sigh, things that I skipped came out. It's always like that!

SPM freaks me out the moment I tried to sleep when I was only a few hours away for the first paper. I also hate the feeling when we walked into the hall every morning. We queued up and walked in together, it feels scary yet fun! :)

That's all for now. Gotta work harder for the other papers. :D

Just believe in yourself and you'll do well. :)