I think I've lost it this time. I feel like I lost myself in the way of finding myself. If you understand what
I mean. You know, there were times when I thought that if I'm close to many guys and take pictures with guys and that will makes me cooler? Yeah, I was that dumb. I did that. I took pictures with my male friends, I posted it on social websites, thought it would make me seems cool, but I wasn't really happy about it. I mean, occasionally, I feel myself being so cheap. I've always wanted a male friend that I could be crazy with, hold hands, hugs and all but not my boyfriend. I've always wanted a friend like this. And I wanted to be someone like this too. I wanted to be a girl who is really open-minded. Don't mind if someone holds her hand or hug her, but the thing is that, I do mind. I do feel awkward. I just pretend like I don't. And now when I think back, I don't understand why did I do that for. I feel cheap instead of cool. Thats how I feel, I'm not saying that it's cheap. I still think it's pretty cool for people to do that. And if I could, I would be like that too. And that's also the part that I hate. That's not me. I know I'm not like this, but I want to be. Now, I feel like I don't know myself anymore. Sometimes, I just wish that I could just lock myself in the house.
Can I go back? Seriously. Somebody tell me that I can.
And I'm lovin' this song. Imagine Dragons - It's Time
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